Shoot This

BEFORE all these end of the world disaster movies came about–each painting a thrilling new view of the Earth’s demise–there was (for me at least) the dreaded, Church Camp Revivals. These were the disaster flicks of my day …

THE NIGHT BEFORE: A shot of the almost full Super Moon, one night prior to being full and eclipsed (10/27/15; Pinedale, WY).

Between the oily ages of 12 to 15, I would annually get the Hell and Brimstone scared out of me each summer, by a clan of old preacher men from Arkansas. Grey hair, grey suits, grey forecasts. They had all the answers for how to best accept a humble life of perpetual dread. All the while, holding fast to a hope that–at the end of days–they’d find that their life on Earth wasn’t a colossal, asinine, waste of time.

 Much like, the low tide; the high winds; the full moon and the empty pews. The End was near. Clean up your act and quit grabbing your pecker or be smitten.

They didn’t just pick on me, but on every zit-riddled teen from Sacramento to Santa Cruz, who happened to get nabbed-up by the big blue bus which took us all away for 8-days.

They explained each night–after a day of Bible study, prayer and mashed potato clad supper–that the earthquakes in California were a sign from God. Much like, the low tide; the high winds; the full moon and the empty pews. The End was near. Clean up your act and quit grabbing your pecker or be smitten.

Jesus was pissed and was just outside the door. After seeing the Exorcist, it was obvious. I learned to fear the future. I even passed up having forbidden, taboo Church Camp sex with the hottest deacon’s daughter there. Satan was a prick tease like no other. I didn’t want to smoke a hot turd in a lake of fire, so ultimately, I refused her kind offers. I’ll never get those 8-days back.

Today, the signs of the times suggest that we’re just as apocalyptic in thought as ever. Not only the preachers who think tonight’s Super-moon Eclipse is another dog-eared revelation come to pass.  But also the politicians, the environmentalists, the movie producers and the lunar night owls who search the heavens all have a story to explain the otherworldly.

Last month’s discovery of Homo naledi, gave me hope for a brighter future. Science is fascinating and we’re learning more and more how ignorant we’ve been. Sure, we may end up in a big ball of smoke before it’s all over, but I don’t believe it’ll be an angry entity that decides to quit on us. If anything, it’s more likely we’ll put the proverbial barrel to our planet’s noggin and do it ourselves.

The fact that we know the exact time in which this future event of the moon will happen, and that we can document its history of happenings in the past; that every year we discover more and more about what’s beyond the walls of our world, means that whatever fear we have of the dark today, will likely be illuminated by a new truth tomorrow.

We just need faith in tomorrow and a bit more light on the planet … and tonight we’ll get just that.

• • •

For more Super Moon info:

During this weekend’s supercharged eclipse, not only will the moon appear up to 14 percent larger in the night sky, but it will also look red in color. This so-called “Blood Moon” effect is caused by light refracting through Earth’s atmosphere from sunsets and sunrises, according to NASA. The last time this type of lunar eclipse occurred was in 1982, and it won’t happen again until 2033.