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Don’t smoke, don’t drink? What do you do? – Adam Ant

(I’m quite  happy to admit that the following is testimony to my lack of hearing, not the cab driver’s lack of English pronunciation …)

So what’s funny in Singapore?

I pondered this question as I ventured out on my own to a couple of clubs downtown. You hear stories about what happens to gum chewers and pot smoking porn surfers in Singapore. Was there a sense of humor about any of this? If so, the comedy culture would likely be the place to find some answers.

The cab driver asks in what I believe is his best Singlish,

“Wut yu tink Obama?”

I explained I’m on vacation; not been watching the news lately.

“He sint everyon to wofare,”

I said I thought he was trying to get us out of the war, but the driver seemed to insist the US president was a warmonger, not unlike England’s Prime Minsiter.

“Tonly Brare, same-same, have 20-30 wife and kid, all go to wofare!”

I didn’t think any country was into sending expecting women to  war but I didn’t want to engage this line of talk. I was anxious to sit and have a cold pint while the local stand-ups answered my query as to Singaporean sensibilities. I agreed that the US held aggressive preëmptive polices and that we’d probably send pregnant women to war if we could get away with it, but that his information was likely suspect.

“No! Mudda flucker!,” the man said with anger in his voice and a heavy foot on the gas. “Wofare, wofare,”

Ironically we pass the Ministry of Manpower building just a block from the club; and suddenly it clicks in my mind what he’s been saying. We pull up to Molly Malone’s and as I exit the cab in front of the Irish pub, I wonder, was he calling me or Obama a mudda flucker?


Check out Scott Mitchell and his meet up group when in town for a good introduction to comedy in Singapore.

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